Well, Dudes!  I have to say that I know how both of these decision-making processes feel because I’ve done them both and I’ve felt through them both.  (What the heck does “felt through” mean?) When I say “felt through” I mean, we usually don’t consciously choose to get stuck in the pre-decision-making-blues, we usually have a reason that we think is completely logical, but really the reason usually has to do with a feeling.

For example, remember how in the Launch Blog I mentioned that I was constantly “getting ready to get ready” to launch Goal Getter Girls?  Well, even though I convinced myself that I had to first get everything in order so that I could provide great value for the people I interacted with, really, underneath it all, I was scared that I wasn’t good enough.  I was scared that I didn’t know enough.

But, once I DECIDED to actually take action on my goal, it was easy making it come true.  I mean, sheesh, I was still scared and all, but that fear no longer had the intense energy around it because my drive to move forward was stronger once I decided I was going to launch.

Here was a distinction about decision-making that I learned.

Saying that you want something, isn’t the true decision.  It’s a great step in the process, however you know you’ve hit upon a true decisionwhen once you declare what you’re going to do, all of the doubts and fears take a back seat and, even though you may still be feeling them, you know that you have no other choice but to make whatever you need to happen next, happen.

Here’s a concluding Mind Toy and Awareness Challenge:

Simply notice when you are in the face of a decision.  What do you do?  What’s your process?  Have you only declared the decision that you want to make or have you truly decided?  Remember, you’ll know when you’ve made a true decision because you’ll feel like you have no other choice but to move forward with the next step.
(Please note: Do NOT judge yourself, you’re simply noticing at this point.)

All righty, Party Peeps!  Have fun and happy decision-making!

So, who are we and why are we here?  And, what is Epiphany Day?

Let’s start with: Who are we and why are we here?

We are GoalGetterGirls.com, an online training and resource center committed to empowering motivated individuals to live the life they want to live.  All too often we’re living the life we think we HAVE to live or the life that we fell into or the life that someone else designed for us.  YUCK!  Life’s too short to be boring or to feel obligated (as we say) so figure out what it is that you want and be the creator that you are and make it happen.  We know you can and that’s why we’re here.  We’re here to be your resource, your partners, your coaches, and your trainers to help you get to where you want to be.  Hang out with us and together we can help your life be a party!

Now, what is Epiphany Day?
(Warning, this story is pretty darn long so rest-assured that future blog posts won’t be this lengthy but since this is the launch blog, heck, let’s go crazy!)

All right, before I tell you about Epiphany Day, let me tell you why Epiphany Day was selected.

I wanted to launch GoalGetterGirls.com on a day that was very special to me and Epiphany Day is one of the days of the year that is closest to my heart.  Epiphany Day saved my relationship.

Here’s how Epiphany Day came to be.

So, my boyfriend of one-year at the time (who I call, My Dude) and I were on the verge of breaking-up.  It was an extremely painful time because I was constantly depressed and I blamed life, circumstances around me, and my boyfriend for my unhappiness.  I was in a never-ending state of inner-turmoil and even though I looked happy on the outside, inside I was EXTREMELY miserable.

In an attempt to make myself feel-better, I decided that I needed a break from My Dude because, well, in my eyes, he was the jerk causing a lot of my downer moods.  If only he would treat me better, if only he would call me and think about me constantly, if only he would dote over me and treat me like a princess, if only…, if only….

So, one evening over the phone, after a less-than-stellar conversation over the phone, I say, “My Dude, I don’t know if this is working and I need a break.  I need time to think over our relationship so I need time away from you because I’m not sure if this is working out.”

My Dude says, “Well, Honey, how long were you thinking?”

And I say emphatically, “A month.”

Then he says (because My Dude is a bean-counter i.e. a Finance Guy), “Well, Honey, I don’t mean to be insensitive but that’s around the month-end close, can we make it two-weeks instead?”

So, I grumpily agreed and we said our farewells-for-now, picked a date and time to talk two-weeks from that date, and off the phone we went.

Of course my mind was reeling with what a jerk he was for not fighting for me and how I should have broke up with him then and there.  These thoughts brought me misery, but, at the time I thought they brought me comfort.

During the two-week break, I cried, I was angry, I kicked (literally) and screamed (f’reals!).  Then one day, I took a journey through some old journals.  In one of the journals I found some rants about an ex-boyfriend.  In blue-ink, sitting on the page staring back at me, I could not deny that the same complaints that I had about my current Dude were EXACTLY the same complaints I had about an ex-boyfriend.  Hmmmm…I thought to myself.  Could it be?  Could I possibly be the common denominator and could I possibly be creating this situation that I was in?

With that spiritual slap-in-the-face, I delved into my books (resources) for some guidance and here’s where Epiphany Day was born.

I was curled up on my bed reading Byron Katie’s book I Need Your Love – Is That True?.  (Byron Katie developed this excellent process called “The Work” or “Inquiry” which helps a person come to the conclusion that what really brings him/her pain is not the circumstances happening to a person, but rather the thoughts the person has about those circumstances.) The dialog in this book that turned things around for me was called “Leaving or Staying, in Peace” (pgs 159-174).

In a nutshell, the dialog is between Byron Katie and a woman who is depressed because she decided to leave her husband because she felt that he ignored her and she was unhappy.  Through the dialog, the reader discovers that the woman’s depression was caused by her thoughts about how she was perceiving the husband’s actions.  She was perceiving them to be unloving, but through additional inquiry you realize that the husband actually did do loving things for the woman but she couldn’t see them because she was too busy concentrating on what he didn’t do in her eyes.

In that moment, I thought about My Dude.  I realized that I was so busy judging him and finding all of his faults, I missed all of the loving, thoughtful, kind things he would do for me.  Like the time he moved a television into a quiet room for me so that I could watch a chick-flick and play with my planner (like I like doing) because I wanted to be in a comfortable place; and the time he did my laundry for me; and the time he bought me a Hello Kitty kitchen rug because I like Sanrio products.

On that evening, June 21, 2006, I saw My Dude for the first time and I saw that I had created an unloving relationship all over again.  In that moment, I was excited!  I knew in that very moment, I would not be the same person I was before.  I knew in that moment, I would see the world with different eyes.  And, that was Epiphany Day for me.

And that type of experience is what I want to help motivated individuals experience many-times over.  I want individuals to realize that they are the creators of their experiences and once you decide you want to turn them around, you can.

I had been studying self-development materials for many years prior to Epiphany Day, but some lessons take longer to learn than others.

So, what’s the end of the story between My Dude and me?  We connected by phone on the specified date and time and he was distant, guarded, and acted like nothing was wrong.  He sounded happy (and the old Lleslle would have been super angry by his flippant attitude), however, the Epiphany-influenced Lleslle saw that he had his defenses up.

Long, long, long story short, I told My Dude about the epiphany that I had, I apologized for how I didn’t see him before and I shared with him all of the fantastic and wonderful things that I realized about him and that I now know what a loving Dude he is.

Of course, it took him a while to believe me, but we continued on with our relationship and we are SUPER happy to this day and have been together now for a solid three years and four months.

So, Happy Launch Day everyone, and Happy Epiphany Day!  Thanks for partying with us and I wish you many moments of epiphanies and a lifetime of love, happiness, freedom, and bliss.

Laterz my friends!